Human beings are wired for connection. We literally need it to survive. From the very second we are born, we seek out relationships that give us safety, belonging and meaning. When we have these, there is no doubt it helps our mental health and wellbeing to flourish.
Brene Brown, a firm favourite of mine said: “A deep sense of love and belonging is an irreducible need of all people. We are biologically, cognitively, physically, and spiritually wired to love, to be loved, and to belong.”
This week is Mental Health Awareness Week. Run by the Mental Health Foundation since 2001, this year’s theme is Community, something us Jews are VERY good at. Our schools, shuls, workplaces, charities, sports teams and youth movements are all powerful tools that help us to feel that sense of belonging, spanning all the generations.
But what’s so special about community and why does it matter so much?
Put simply, being part of a community gives us purpose and makes our day-to-day life happier and more meaningful. There is clear evidence which shows that when people feel they belong, they experience lower levels of stress, anxiety, and depression and higher levels of self-esteem, confidence and resilience. In an increasingly volatile world, belonging also gives us a sense of safety which is crucial to our wellbeing.
Pic: Nicki Cohen
At the other end of the spectrum, when we feel isolated or lonely, this can lead to acute stress, emotional exhaustion and even physical health problems like heart issues and a weakened immune system. Research tells us that 60% of people experiencing chronic loneliness suffer from poor mental health, compared to 15% in those who do not feel lonely.
Without community, there is space for hopelessness and despair to grow.
In this day and age, online communities have a huge role to play, particularly for young people seeking out a place to belong, but in my opinion, nothing beats real face to face connections which boost your oxytocin and help to regulate your nervous system.
So, if you are reading this and wondering how you can take that step to feel more involved, here are my top tips. Why not try them and see how much better you feel?
- Start small – Talk to your neighbours – remember how nice it was when we did that during Covid? Or take part in an event in your area. Summer is great for finding local outdoor events (and being outside itself is of huge benefit to your mental health)
- Join a club – It could be an exercise class, an art class, book club, a drama group, the possibilities are endless!
- Volunteer – Our community charities are rife with wonderful volunteering opportunities, but whether you choose to do it inside or out of the community, giving back is a guaranteed way to boost those feel-good chemicals.
- Try to align your passion and your purpose. Find something you really care about. Nothing brings people together like shared values and working together on something that is important to you.
- Remember that any contribution is meaningful. You don’t have to do these things all day every day, but even getting started and doing a little can go a long way.
Belonging to a community isn’t just about filling time. It is vital to your mental health. Whilst I’m not a huge fan of “awareness weeks” (I’d much rather we talked about this all year round), if you can use this one as a launchpad to boost your connection to others, then maybe I will change my mind!
Nicki Cohen is a counsellor, supervisor and mental health consultant
