What does it mean if a non-Jew calls themselves Yael? Illustration by Mira Fox
By Mira Fox
May 20, 2025
Dear Bintel,
I’m planning to apply for U.S. citizenship soon after being a permanent resident for a couple of years. Lately, I’ve been considering adding a second name during the naturalization process. Nothing really clicked with me before, and I always felt like I needed some sort of “sign,” if that makes sense.
Last night, I had a vivid dream where I was holding a passport and I specifically chose the name “Yael.” The dream left a deep impression on me, and the moment I woke up, I felt very connected to that name. I looked it up later and saw that it’s a Hebrew name, which I didn’t know beforehand.
Now I’m wondering: Would it be seen as disrespectful or inappropriate to adopt “Yael” as a second name, especially since I’m not Jewish? I truly feel drawn to it, but I want to be mindful and respectful of its cultural and religious origins.
If it’s relevant, I’m a person with more of an agnostic approach to religion. I’d love to hear thoughts from someone who knows more about the cultural context.
Sincerely,
Maybe Yael
It sounds like what you’re asking is whether it would be cultural appropriation for you to take the name Yael. That’s a tough nut to crack; the line between cultural appropriation and cultural appreciation depends enormously on context and interpretation. The name Yael poses a particularly interesting conundrum because it reads as a very Jewish name, but it’s also a biblical name — Yael is a heroine in the book of Judges who seduces and kills an enemy commander. And many biblical names are very commonly used by non-Jews.
David, Benjamin, Rachel, Abigail and even Israel are all biblical names commonly used outside the Jewish community. And in some countries, Yael — or some spelling variation of it, such as Jael — is also common among non-Jews. (Yael is most popular in Israel, but its next-highest usage is in Mexico, where it is actually more popular as a male name.)
Obviously, there’s not a clear rule of thumb about which names strongly signify Jewish — and yet, there are certainly some that read more Jewish than others. And in the U.S. at least, Yael is still a little bit exotic, both in popularity and in sound; it doesn’t follow the pronunciation rules of names that are neutral, or English. That makes it more akin to someone being named Avigayil, the Hebrew version of Abigail. And while there are plenty of non-Jewish Abbys, the name Avigayil is a pretty reliable signifier that someone is Jewish.
(It’s also not a name that every American is familiar with or going to get right on their first try — which is usually the motivation for picking up a new name during a citizenship process. If your given name is not easy for most people in the U.S. to recognize, Yael is going to offer only minimal improvement.)
If you go by Yael, most Jews — and, depending where you live in the U.S., perhaps most people you meet generally — will probably assume that you are Jewish. This, of course, comes with any and all of the same risks of actually being Jewish, such as encountering antisemitism. And when it becomes clear that you’re not Jewish, people might have one of two reactions: A confused shrug, or, yes, a feeling that you appropriated something.
Judaism has a particularly complex relationship with the idea of appropriation given that one of the world’s major religions — Christianity — was built off of ours. Of course, Jesus was a Jew, so Christianity naturally grew from that base; you can’t be too mad about that, at least not several millennia later. On the other hand, centuries of persecution and attempted erasure at the hands of Christians means that Jews often don’t feel great about non-Jews embracing the aspects of Judaism that have remained exclusively Jewish. (Think Christian Seders.) It can feel like the Jewishness of that practice is being diluted.
Even if there’s no clear rationale why Yael should be different than David, the reality is that it’s perceived differently, and sometimes Jews feel protective over those differences. But not all the time! And it depends on the Jew!
Cultural appreciation — which most people agree is the better way to engage with elements of another culture — involves learning about the roots of a tradition, respecting their place of origin and understanding how you fit in. (Appropriation, on the other hand, involves engaging in a tradition without thinking about its roots.) You could learn about Judaism, Yael’s biblical story — it’s actually not clear whether the biblical character Yael was Jewish or not, even though the name is predominantly a Jewish one today — antisemitism and famous people named Yael, like singer Yael Naïm or actor Yael Grobglas. A bystander still probably wouldn’t know how much work you put into your name. But you would. And if anyone asked, you would be ready to explain why the name is meaningful to you.
There are so many reasons people choose names. Ultimately, this is your name, one that you say you feel a deep connection to. My only real advice is to interrogate yourself and really understand why you’re drawn to the name Yael, and what it would mean for you to carry it through the world. Don’t just go with it because it sounds cool. (Which in my opinion, it does! It’s a beautiful name.) Then, if you want it, use it.
