The Bibas family remains hostages in Gaza. A nation is hoping against hope for their return.

(JTA) — TEL AVIV — People in Israel and across the world have pledged to wear orange on Wednesday, in homage to the hair color of the last two young children still held hostage in Gaza.

“Orange Day,” in honor of Kfir and Ariel Bibas and their parents, Shiri and Yarden, is just the latest activist initiative to keep the world’s eyes on the family of four, who were taken captive on Oct. 7, 2023, and have become symbols of the hostages’ plight.

Graffiti of the family — including one piece in Tel Aviv showing the older brother pushing a stroller with the words, “Ariel will never be the same again” — has appeared all over Israel’s streets. Fueled by the passion of mothers who too easily can see their own children in Kfir and Ariel, posts about them routinely go viral on social media around the world. They have inspired art, songs, prayers and even, briefly, a fruitless digital detective hunt after a video showing two red-haired boys among a crowd of Gazan children circulated last summer.

The family’s symbolism has endured even as reasons for optimism have dwindled. Still, Israelis and their most prominent spokespeople have proceeded with the hope that the Bibases are alive. Itamar Lippner, a Tel Aviv attorney, might have been speaking for an entire nation when he posted on social media this week, “All the signs point to bad news.”

Then he added, “Of course, I keep on praying that all the signs are wrong.”

The Israeli government seems to be priming the public for tragedy. There’s no indication that officials have insisted on their release during the first weeks of the current ceasefire, even as others have gone free. A delay in the release of another civilian, Arbel Yehud, threatened to derail the ceasefire and led Israel to clamp down on Palestinian civilians in Gaza. Israel has made no such ultimatums around the Bibas family.

Last week, in one of the most direct official Israeli comments on the family’s state, IDF Spokesman Daniel Hagari expressed “grave concerns for their fate.” This week, Israel received word that of the 26 hostages yet to be released in the ceasefire’s first phase, 18 are alive and eight are dead.

“The information we received is not good,” Shiri’s cousin Jimmy Miller, who has acted as a family spokesperson, said on Tuesday. “The army is afraid about the state in which they will be returned, but nothing is proven yet.”

Like Miller, Jews around the world are facing down the cruel question of which group the Bibas family is in — and in many cases wishing away signs that the answer will be crushing.

“I’ve consistently chosen to believe that the news will be good,” said Hemdat Beck, a nonprofit worker from Tel Aviv. “Of course, there have been moments of despair and breakdowns, but even when my friends mentioned rumors coming from Hamas [about hostages who were killed], I said it was a lie, that it wasn’t true. If it were truly true, there would have been an official announcement by now, and since there hasn’t been any at any point, I choose to believe this is not their fate.”

More than any other hostage, the Bibases have come to represent not only the struggle to free the captives but, in the eyes of Israel’s supporters around the world, the justice of their cause following the tragedy of Hamas’ massacre. The family has, in turn, become a conduit for the torrent of Jewish and Israeli emotions that flowed from Oct. 7 and its aftermath — as if carrying the pain, grief and resilience that have characterized 16 months of efforts to free the hostages.

The faces of the Bibas family were burned into the consciousnesses of many beginning on Oct. 7, when footage spread of a terrified Shiri clutching the two young boys as they were abducted to Gaza. It was an early and raw image of the day’s atrocities.

Since then, photos of the young family have become some of the most recognizable pictures of the hostages: a photo of Kfir Bibas, taken captive at 9 months old, smiling; a shot of the family in matching Batman pajamas; another of Shiri hugging her children in happier times.

Hostage rallies around the world have centered on fragments of the Bibas family’s life: 11 days ago, gatherings around the world marked Kfir’s second birthday. People have shown up at rallies for the hostages in Batman costumes — an homage to the photo.

“I get messages all the time from people — mainly women — saying, ‘I’m not sleeping, if they don’t get out alive I don’t think I’ll ever get over this,’” said Jonny Daniels, a pro-Israel influencer who said his posts about the Bibases routinely get the most engagement by a wide margin. “If you ask anyone in the world to identify the Israeli hostages, most will tell you the ginger children.”

All of the other children abducted to Gaza have long been home. In November 2023, during the first ceasefire in the war, Hamas released dozens of children among more than 100 total hostages who went free.

The Bibas brothers were not among them. That week, Hamas announced that Shiri and the boys had been killed, releasing a torturous video of Yarden, who was abducted separately, after he had received that news.

At the time, Israel said it could not confirm Hamas’ allegation, accusing the terror group of psychological warfare. No further information emerged in the ensuing 15 months, even as the fates of many other hostages — both living and dead — were confirmed publicly by the government.

The Bibas’ relatives have continued to reject suggestions that the family is dead. In June, the family criticized former Defense Minister Benny Gantz for telling Israel’s public broadcaster that he believed Israel knew the fate of the Bibases, and that the public would hear “when the time is ripe.”

And on Monday, they released a statement, once again urging the public to refrain from sharing unverified information even as Israeli officials said they had informed the families of the eight hostages believed to be dead about their status.

“Since October 7th, when the video of the cruel abduction was published, we have been living in fear and anxiety for their fate every minute of every day,” the statement reads. “We ask you to respect Shiri, Yarden, Ariel, and Kfir, as well as the entire family, and refrain from spreading rumors or speculations that unsettle us.”

Eli Bibas, the children’s grandfather, recently addressed a crowd at Hostages Square in Tel Aviv saying that he was “trying not to drown in a sea of rumors, the news, the half truths and lies around the negotiations.”

A few family members have been sounding notes of despair. On the occasion of Kfir’s second birthday, Shiri’s cousin Jimmy said, “We won’t do anything special because the situation is very strange. We know nothing about them.”

As talk turns to reconstruction of Gaza, a grim possibility has begun to be discussed openly — that some Israeli hostages may never be found. David Barnea, the head of the Mossad intelligence agency, reportedly told hostage families this week that bodies of hostages that lie under the rubble may be destroyed if bulldozers are used to clear the territory.

The uncertainty around the Bibas family feels frustrating to some Israelis. Lippner said Israeli press outlets often “dance around the subject.”

Channel 12 came under fire for originally mentioning the “women” hostages to be released during the ceasefire, leaving out the word “children.” After a backlash, the channel added the word into its coverage.

Some say they understand why it might be appealing to extend hope in a traumatized country.

“I want to believe that if there were even a shred of hope that they were alive, everything possible would have been done to save them,” said Avigail Harel, an Israeli nonprofit worker. “Sadly, I think the state has evidence that they have not been alive for a long time, but does not want to publicize or discuss it too much because they know it would become a national trauma.”

Beck was among those who explain their optimism by noting that Hamas said Hanna Katsir was dead, only to release her alive days later. A Hamas announcement in 2023 also seemed to suggest Daniella Gilboa was dead; she walked across a stage in Gaza last week before her release.

Beck said that in light of how invested many have become in the Bibas’ fate, Hamas may view the family as a valuable bargaining chip.

“It really feels with the Bibases like last-minute fake rumors meant to inflame,” she said. “I think they have a very strong interest in keeping them alive. Unless, God forbid, they were killed by our own forces over time, I want to believe in the good.”

Recently, as people understand that firmer news about the Bibas family is imminent because of the ceasefire, social media has erupted anew with posts about the family. Ms. Rachel, the toddler video superstar who drew criticism from some supporters of Israel for raising money for children in Gaza last year, posted Kfir’s photo on his birthday, wishing “that Kfir, his brother Ariel, and his parents, Yarden and Shiri, come home.”

Tablet magazine recently posted a stylized illustration of Shiri and the boys against the backdrop of masked Hamas gunmen. Rabbi Evan Schultz posted a poem imagining the family as a “great big orange tree,” adding that if they die, “know we all loved you and will visit your tree regularly watering it with tears and fragile ribbons of hope.” And hundreds of people pledged on social media to don orange on Wednesday.

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Daniels described hearing from parents in the United States who were distraught after catching their 5-year-old packing a backpack “to go and get Ariel and Kfir.” He said the extent of emotional investment in the family worries him — especially if it emerges that the worst came to pass.

“Their story has impacted people on a level that is kind of indescribable,” he said. “I’m reminding people that this is a very difficult time, but there has to be a separation between you and them. You’re not their family.”

He added, “I’m thoroughly concerned about what happens when they do come out and how they come out. If it doesn’t end with what we all hope for, I don’t know how people’s mental health is going to be, and this is wide-scale. I’m talking about individuals everywhere. This isn’t just an Israeli issue — this is a strong international issue.”

Daniels’ partner, Danielle Katz, is a psychiatrist in private practice in the United States. She said she frequently encounters women who are deeply invested in the Bibas family’s story. The women, she noted, are typically middle-aged, affluent and white.

“These are the most involved, the most consumed and the most concerned by it all,” Katz said. “Add on top of that that these are also Jewish mothers, you have the perfect recipe for people who are completely distraught.”

While attention to the Bibases comes from a deep sense of caring, she said, she has also heard darker and more complicated themes.

“I hear from clients all the time: It’s almost a survivor’s guilt of being over here. … People feel like being involved and being angry and being emotionally invested is their only contribution,” she said, noting that the investment can come at a cost.

“There are a lot of women who have told me that their children have felt somewhat neglected by the obsession of it all, asking, ‘Do you love me as much as you love Israel?’ ‘Do you love me as much as you love the Bibases?’” Katz said.

Natalie Solomon, who works at a Jewish school in Dallas, said she recognized that outsized attention is paid to the Bibas family — but said it’s because the Jewish people have become wrapped up in their fate.

“We’re all just waiting. Holding our breath. Desperate for any piece of news,” she said. “If me, a mom in Texas, can’t stop thinking about a mother and her babies in the depth of hell, how does the family feel? The torture is not just of Shiri, Yarden, Ariel and Kfir, although of course we can’t possibly imagine what they are going through.”

She continued, “The torture to all of Am Yisrael waiting for these little red-headed boys to be back home — I don’t want to hear speculation, I only want to hear the official statement.”

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