We all have to balance different aspects of our personalities and our lives, but that is easier for some to navigate than others. Shimmy Braun had to navigate being brought up in a New York ultra-Orthodox community – “as close as you can get to Hasidim without being Hasidim” – alongside the dawning realisation that he is gay.
“I started sort of recognising within myself in my teenage years an attraction towards some of the other boys in yeshiva,” he explains. However, he never acted on this and found himself in an arranged marriage to a woman he had known for just 12 days. Some time – and four children – later, Braun ended up divorcing his wife and ultimately coming out. He was around 40 and had suffered waves of depression in the preceding years.
All of this and more serves as the backdrop to his play, Faygele, which debuts at London’s Marylebone Theatre on 30 April.
The story centres on a gay, Orthodox teenage boy. “We learn early on that he’s taken his own life and that he is now at his funeral, narrating back to the scenes in his life that took him to that point,” the playwright outlines. A key moment is the father dismissing his son with the homophobic slur “faygele” at his bar mitzvah.
The work also draws on the experience of a friend of Braun’s who committed suicide after “trying to balance family, faith… as well as identity”.
You might think that having endured such difficult times Braun would be angry at the community in which he grew up. His tattoos certainly show some level of rebellion against his former life. But, as ever, things are more complex. “There are a lot of beautiful things about Orthodox Judaism,” he insists.
However, Braun also acknowledges the need to break with the community of which he was once a key part. “I was burnt many times by people within the faith… it was just too almost traumatic for me to maintain that connection.” This had practical implications too, not least when it came to business. Braun is, and remains, a successful mortgage lender. At one point his business was centred on the ultra-orthodox but that fell away when he came out. He now operates a lot within the LGBTQ+ community.
Photo: Michael Wharley
Braun also recalls telling a rabbi of the trauma he felt having come out. The rabbi told him that the act of coming out had also caused trauma for others in the community. “He gave me a different perspective,” confesses Braun. Indeed, despite stepping back from the community in many ways, the playwright still has connections to some rabbis, including Rabbi Akiva Tatz of Golders Green.
There has been a reading of the play before, something Braun found very emotional to sit through. “We had all orientations. We had black, white, brown and all kinds of people – older, younger men, women… And at the end, you know, there were many people, of all those denominations, with tears coming out their eyes.”
His parents did not attend, despite being just half an hour away from where it took place.
Once more trying to negotiate these difficulties, Braun declines to dismiss his ultra-orthodox father outright. Instead, he describes him as “the most supportive and kind probably”. He recalls that “when I came out, the first thing he said to me was ‘there’s nothing that you could tell me that will make me love you any less’. Those were his words. And I just started crying, because you just never know.” His father has read the script of Faygele.
Things are more complicated with his siblings. For example, they did not let Braun bring a man he was dating to their father’s 70th birthday party, even though he was well known to the family. He says that “it’s like a Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, situation” in which everything is based on the instructions of a rabbi.
Braun is engaged and open throughout a sometimes-difficult conversation. It’s clear he understands the need to reflect on his past in order to explain his current work. However, it’s when he discusses the theatre that he shines. He confesses to sneaking out to see the musical Rent “many, many times in my 20s”, even though he was still ultra-orthodox at that time.
The writing is a huge passion and a creative outlet away from mortgage lending. “When I talk to my therapist,” Braun says, “I could be depressed, I could be crying. And then we start talking about theatre. And he always loves to just stop afterwards, and he says to me, ‘do you realise that the second we start talking about theatre, you become alive, you’re animated?’”
Ilan Galkoff and Shimmy Braun. Photo: Ryan Howard
Faygele has an all-Jewish cast – llan Galkoff (Backstairs Billy), Ben Caplan (A Sherlock Carol), Clara Francis (Leopoldstadt), Andrew Paul (The Bill) and Yiftach Mizrahi (Band of Spies). “They all are bringing a unique perspective,” says Braun, who is confident that “they’re going to bring something really powerful to that stage”.
Clara Francis’ perspective is a particularly tragic one. She lost a child who was just three years old and now runs an organisation to support others in the same awful position. “She was so powerful in that audition room,” according to Braun.
Director Will Nunziata is not Jewish, something the writer thinks is of benefit to the work. He remembers discussing the issue with Nunziata. Ultimately, Braun told his director that the fact he isn’t Jewish means he would approach things with “a blank canvas… it actually kind of felt right for him”
The run in London is Faygele’s world premiere. When the possibility of this arose, “I thought to myself, what a great place to start”, says Braun. He was positive about the opportunity because there is “such a strong combination of Jewish and gay people, LGBTQ people within this area. I thought it would be really nice to get my feet wet over here…. And I think people over here will appreciate it.”
Jewish writer. Jewish cast. Non-Jewish director. An American play debuting in England. As has often been the case with Shimmy Braun, it’s all about finding the right balance.
Faygele is at Marylebone Theatre 30 April – 31 May. marylebonetheatre.com
