Whether you are in the midst of your exams or a parent supporting your child through their exams, this can be a stressful period. I’m sure many of your peers are finding this period overwhelming too.
The Talmud tells the story of the great Rabbi Yochanan and his students who became overwhelmed with life and fell into depression. Each time one of his students was struggling, Rabbi Yochanan would pay them a visit offering them counsel and comfort and, in this way, they each recovered.
Interestingly, that same piece of Talmud records an occasion where Rabbi Yochanan himself became overwhelmed with life and fell into depression. His student, Rabbi Chanina, went to visit him and, after talking, he asked for his teacher’s hand. Rabbi Yochanan gave him his hand and Rabbi Chanina helped him to stand and recover. The story concludes with the following question: “If Rabbi Yochanan was able to lift his students up and out of depression, why did he need Rabbi Chanina’s help? Let Rabbi Yochanan help himself!”
The Talmud responds: “A prisoner cannot free himself from his own prison”.
Teachers and staff are there to help you so reach out to them if you are feeling overwhelmed. So too family and friends are an invaluable source of support and regularly checking in with them will help keep you steady during this moment of transition.
Importantly, remember that your exam results do not define you; while they may say something about you, this will never be the full picture. Exams are not the end of the journey, rather they are a stepping stone that assists you in finding your way in the world.
Of course, that is not to say that one shouldn’t aspire to do well in their assessments; you should work hard and to the best of your ability. But again, do not lose sight of the bigger picture; your mental health and relationships with your family and friends. Make sure you add moments of regular rest into your study routine and that you don’t isolate yourself from others.
This week’s Torah portion is parashat B’midbar and it feels particularly appropriate, as you move through your exams, that I share with you the following blessing:
May God bless you and keep you.
May God’s face shine upon you
And be gracious to you.
May God’s face turn towards you
And give you peace.
Wishing you b’hatzlacha and shalom – much success and peace – during this season.
Rabbi David-Yehuda ‘DY’ Stern is at Radlett Reform Synagogue
