Rabbi Doug Alpert did not utter the name of the man accused of killing Sarah Milgrim as he presided over her funeral on Tuesday.
But before reciting El Maleh Rahamim, a prayer memorializing the dead, Alpert appeared to address the alleged gunman.
“What a horrible disservice to not see her for who she was and all she had done to further peace with courage and dignity,” said Alpert.
“Because if you really wanted to know how to give Palestinians a better life, a life of humanity and dignity, you could have asked Sarah,” he said, adding, “If you’re really interested in doing something for Gaza to end the blockade and get needed aid into Gaza, you could have asked Sarah. … And if you were really interested in creating solutions to the seemingly endless conflict that separates Jews and Muslims, Israelis and Palestinians, you could have asked Sarah.”
Standing before Milgrim’s coffin, which was draped in an Israeli flag, Alpert finished his litany with audible anger: “And if you really cared, if you’re about more than cancelling voices that made you uncomfortable, about more than shouting slogans and waving a gun, then damn it, why didn’t you ask Sarah?”
The funeral at Congregation Beth Torah in Overland Park, Kansas, took place more than five days after Milgrim and her boyfriend, Yaron Lischinsky, were shot to death. The attack occurred late Wednesday night outside the Capital Jewish Museum in Washington, D.C., where the victims had just attended an event hosted by the American Jewish Committee that focused in part on humanitarian aid in Gaza.
Both Milgrim and Lischinsky were employees of the Israeli embassy in Washington. Their alleged killer — a far-left activist from Chicago — shouted “Free Palestine” as he was arrested.
Milgrim had been shunned by some former friends for taking a role working for the Israeli government, multiple speakers said at the funeral. The speakers all said Milgrim’s commitment to Israel, and to acting on her beliefs, ran deep. They praised her family — mother Nancy, father Robert and brother Jacob — as beloved members of the local Jewish community.
“Jacob wishes that he could pick up the phone this very day and call her, just to remind her how very proud he is of everything that she has done,” said Rabbi Stephanie Kramer of Congregation B’nai Jehuda, which she said Milgrim’s parents joined in recent years. “Bob, too, has spoken of Sarah’s commitment with deep reverence. This is the only reason why, in the hours following her murder, he found the grit to do 10 interviews — because he knew how important it was for the world to see Sarah through her parents’ eyes, how proud he was for her unshakeable Zionism.”
Milgrim, 26 when she was killed, grew up in the Kansas City suburbs, where she participated in a range of activities. Alpert — who leads another nearby congregation, Kol Ami, where Milgrim’s parents have been active — recalled her joining sports teams and the children’s choir of the Lyric Opera, and advocating for animals and the environment. She marked her bat mitzvah in Jerusalem in 2012, a milestone also celebrated at Beth Torah.
When she was in ninth grade, a white supremacist targeted Jews in Kansas City, killing three people at two Jewish institutions just miles from her home. When she was a senior at Shawnee East Mission High School, someone painted swastikas at her school. Both events made a mark on her, as Jewish institutions she frequented adopted new security protocols and the specter of antisemitism crept into her life.
“You know, I worry about going to my synagogue and now I have to worry about safety at my school and that shouldn’t be a thing,” Milgrim told a local news station at the time, in a clip that has been widely shared in the days since she was killed.
No one mentioned those incidents during the funeral, but they have figured prominently in both the community’s response to Milgrim’s death and in news coverage about her life. In an online gathering on Thursday organised by the Jewish Federations of North America, the CEO of the Kansas City federation, Jay Lewis, said the killing felt like “trauma on top of trauma on top of trauma.”
Lewis said Milgrim had interned at the federation while a student at the University of Kansas, where she studied environmental studies and anthropology and was active in the university Hillel, the campus Jewish centre.
After graduating, Milgrim spent time in Israel, working at a nonprofit that uses technology to build relations between Israelis and Palestinians, and moved to Washington, D.C., to earn two master’s degrees and pursue a career in peace and diplomacy.
She joined the embassy shortly after Hamas’ Oct. 7, 2023, attack on Israel that initiated the war in Gaza. Sawsan Hasson, Israel’s minister for public diplomacy stationed at the D.C. embassy, said Milgrim’s dedication to public service was exemplified for her even before Milgrim officially stepped into her role. She was waiting for her security clearance when she wrote to Hasson, her supervisor at the embassy, in the immediate aftermath of the attack to say that she stood by ready to assist in the response.
Once she joined the embassy officially, Hasson said, she jumped into action, not only embracing her role in public diplomacy but also arranging missions to Israel, initiating collaborations with NASA and environmental groups and engaging in women’s advocacy.
“Sarah transformed her deep concern about the rise of antisemitism and anti-Zionism into courageous action. And it is that very hatred that took her from us on her own homeland soil,” Hasson said. “But know this: Sarah, your life mattered. Sarah, it did matter deeply and eternally. … We will carry your torch, Sarah, we will continue your mission. We will speak for those who cannot, and we will defend the truths that you upheld.”
It was at the embassy where Milgrim met Lischinsky, whom Alpert said she had brought to Kansas City multiple times for extended visits, including once over Yom Kippur. “The deep sadness of what has happened is embedded in not just how far the relationship had come, but seeing the potential that the relationship would only continue to grow in the years to come,” he said.
Following his angry comments seemingly directed at Milgrim’s killer, Alpert, too, said he believed Milgrim’s legacy would be long-lasting.
“I’d like nothing more — we would like nothing more — right now than to ask Sarah, to talk to Sarah, to learn from such a beacon of light amidst a world of darkness,” he said. “We’ve been cheated out of that opportunity, and for the Milgrim family, cheated out of so much more.
“And yet, I believe Sarah’s voice is not lost. It is our opportunity, our blessing and our obligation to keep her voice alive, to place her voice in our hearts, to follow her courageous path toward building a better world.”
